Classroom Management Starts With This...

I taught in a tough school. Super tough. EVERY year (no joke) I had at least one student who was pregnant or already a parent. At least one student who was classified as homeless. I had students from jail, one who was a registered sex offender and many students who were gang members. The neighborhood around our school was an open air drug market that was full of crime and prostitution. 

I taught two years in 4th grade before I moved to middle school. That first year as a middle school teacher was a huge learning experience - most of it was learning through failure. I was slightly intimidated by the fact that I was teaching 8th graders, so I thought the key to my success was to be "friends" with my students. That literally should be on the top of the list of things NOT to do as a teacher. I remember telling my class on the first day, "I don't care what you did last year, yesterday or 10 minutes before coming into my classroom. You are here for a fresh start." That's a really terrible thing to say to a classroom full of students who have had a long history of trouble making. I was honestly, terrified of some of my students. I had fights in my room that involved chairs, and students, being thrown. It was impossible to have control over people I feared - people who knew I had zero clue what I was doing. 

One day... I gave up. I was so frustrated with the lack of respect that I broke down in tears and walked away from my class. I grabbed my things and told my principal I was going home sick. I wouldn't recommend doing that. Not at all. Looking back, I’m pretty impressed that I didn’t get fired! I hated my job that year. Every single second of it. 

The next school year, I spent the majority of the school year pregnant with my first child. I gained a TON of weight and ended up swelling like a balloon and having elevated blood pressure (imagine that). To avoid my doctor forcing me out of work, I did nothing but sit on a stool for the last few weeks before my daughter was born. My classroom management pretty much didn’t exist because I was miserable. I went out on maternity leave in March and returned mid-May. My long term sub was a “friend” to my students (remember how well that worked for me the year before?) and my classroom was an absolutely nightmare when I returned. I was not able to get things back on track and the remaining few weeks of the school year had me on survival mode. NOTE: If you have a baby, do NOT return for just a week or two at the end of the school year. Trust me on that one. Take the unpaid leave {if you can} and just stay home!

The third year teaching middle school was a HUGE year for me. It was the year I finally figured it out. I didn’t try to make my students like me. I didn’t try to make my students fear me. I was determined to make my students respect me. I had very clear classroom expectations and procedures for every little thing. My students knew what to do if they were absent. They knew I didn’t lend out pencils. Ever. They knew I didn’t take late work. Ever. I didn’t bend for anyone. BUT… they knew I respected them. If they were having a bad day, I’d find a way to touch base with them before class or during the warm up. If I caught wind of them acting foolish in another class, I'd talk to them to find out what was happening. If I knew a student was dealing with something at home, or had a sporting event coming up, I would talk to them about it. My students knew I cared about them – but they also knew my rules for them. My classroom was suddenly a much more manageable place than years before. 

A few weeks into the school year we had an intake meeting for a new student. All I was told is that he was coming from an alternative education school in the next state and he was going to be in my math class. During the meeting, the vice principal and other classroom teachers were very stern with him. Almost mean. He was so polite to everyone, “Yes ma’am” and “No sir” to all the adults even though they were treating him as though he was a problem before he even started. I made the decision to treat him like my other students, regardless of his circumstances. A few days after our meeting, I asked about him. I was told that he had just been released from jail for armed robbery. He was the one with the gun. He ended up being a student who LOVED math, which made me super happy. He was one of my favorite students that year. He didn’t give me a single issue all year, even though he had a tough thing going in the community and was an issue for other teachers. 

From that year on, I maintained my philosophy that in order to have a truly successful classroom, my students were going to have to respect me. Not be afraid of me, not hate me, and not want to be my friend. Each year, the types of students I had didn’t change. I had many students come through my room who were absolutely terrible in other classrooms, but they were different for me. Now, I certainly DID have my problem students. Whether they just hated math, or me, or my rules... they were not fun to have in class. I didn’t let those students bring down my attitude or the rest of my class. Even though we are the teachers and we are the adults, we need to RESPECT our students. They are people too and they deserve the same respect that we command from them.

So, there you have it. Successful classroom management begins and ends with RESPECT. 

Effective Parent Communication

Chances are, primary teachers meet with a lot more resistance when they call home for behavior issues than middle grade teachers. Why is that? If a student misbehaves in first grade, it may be their first time. That teacher who has to call home gets the fabulous job of being the first person EVER (ok an exaggeration but still...) to tell a parent their child isn't perfect. Sign me up for that job - or not.

When you teach older students and need to call home, you may have this happen:

You - "Hello there. I'm so-and-so's math teacher. 

Parent - "What did so-and-so do now?"

Nice right? You are not going to be the person to break someone's heart. That's the plus. Of course, every plus has a minus right? Many parents who have children who are habitual rule breakers are probably at a loss for what to do. Calling home really may not be that effective. Some parents (bless them) may get calls weekly.

First and foremost - be available. How angry do you get when you reach out to someone with a problem/question/concern and they take FOREEEVVVVVVEEERRRRRRR to respond? Make it clear from the beginning what the best way is for parents to reach you (email? text? phone call during planning?). Also make sure parents understand that often you will not be able to respond during school hours - not even during your planning time. Let them know that your first priority is instruction and you usually return calls/texts/emails during a certain time frame each day. Then be sure to stick with it!

Secondly, be aware that they have come from elementary school where kids often had their hands held and parents are used to having a daily/weekly play by play of what is happening. During PTA nights, back to school night a regular conference, etc. consider sharing your expectations of student responsibility versus parent responsibility. It'll help parents see what is expected both from their child and what they are responsible for doing (and not doing) as parents of middle schoolers.

Here are some tips on how to communicate with parents in different situations. 


Communicate Postitive Things

• Set aside some time each week (yes, EACH week) to send home 2-3 positive notes/emails or phone calls. It can be something simple like "Sam did great on his math test!" or "Aubrey really worked well during stations today." Parents will really appreciate your effort and they'll know that you are not the type of teacher who'll only contact them when something is wrong. Included in my Behavior, Data, Lesson and Communication Binder Resources are positive notes. Keep some printed out and ready to go each week! 

Phone Calls & Emails

• Share something positive first. Yep, even if it means you have to dig deep (like middle of the Earth deep). No parent wants to hear nothing but negative things about their kid. 
• Don't bring other students into it. If you mention another student, you are immediately giving that parent a reason to not put any blame on their own kid. If another student was involved, let the student bring that up at home. Simply mention the issue - cheating, talking in class, cell phones, etc. Don't say who they were cheating off of, copying from or talking to. 
• Don't swear. No brainer right? Nah, not exactly. It is SO hard to bite our tongues when met with resistance. SO hard. You have to - bite hard. 
• Remember you are the adult. Students in the middle grades can be SOOOOO difficult. You probably have days where a certain student makes you want to ball up your fists, scream and stomp away. Don't let those feelings show through. Be firm and be professional. Save the screaming and stomping for later! 
• Emails - Don't respond to combative emails. Forward them to an administrator. Remember, something in print will stay in print forever. Do not type something that could come back and bite you one day. 

Conferences

• Use the buddy system. Never have a conference alone. Bring a teammate, administrator, aide, anyone! The purpose is not to gang up on the parents but to offer a wide variety of perspectives. If the issue is negative, consider bringing in a teacher who does NOT have the same issues from the student. It may offer a great opportunity for that teacher to give suggestions to both you and the parents.
• Be prepared. Have copies of work, save the note they passed in class, show your discipline record. Jot down some talking points (points #1 and the last point should be positive) so the conference has direction. 
• Give advice. Middle schoolers are a strange breed and we know them best. Even if you don't have middle school aged children of their own, you know their tendencies and can offer suggestions for the parents on how to best reach them / help them / encourage them at home. Be open to going above and beyond your role as "just the teacher". 
• Ask for their suggestions. Don't say "I have no idea what to do with him/her." Even if that's true (and we know it is sometimes) share the interventions you've tried. Ask what works at home. What doesn't work at home? Show that you are looking for solutions and you haven't just given up. 
• Take notes! 

Angry Parents

• Don't swear.
• Don't return aggression. You may want to, but don't. 
• Don't start bringing down their kid. 
• If a parent is getting verbally abusive on the phone, tell them that you will not be spoken to that way and will be happy to speak to them with an administrator. CLICK. 
• Bring in administration. The end. 

If all else fails, go home, have an adult beverage and try again tomorrow! 

Set Your Expectations High From Day 1

Where do I sit?  Will I like this teacher?  Do I have any friends in this class?  Is this class going to be hard?  Will I have a lot of homework?  These are all questions swimming around in the brain of a middle school student on the first day of school and it is your job to answer these questions and put the insecurities to rest.

Your students need to know a little bit about you and have a chance to bond with their classmates in a fun, relaxed environment because those personal connections and relationships are what will keep the positive momentum and mutual respect going throughout the year.  But, in my opinion, one of the best things you can do during the first week of school is establish very clear, high expectations and be consistent with them.  Students need to know what to expect when they enter your room every day.

During my first year of teaching, a veteran teacher told me "Don't let them see you smile until Christmas."  Not the best advice I've ever received, but I think I understood her intentions (or at least I morphed her advice into an interpretation that worked better for my spunky personality).  Being consistent at the beginning of the school year isn't always fun (for you or your students).  But I promise, if you stick to your high expectations and don't let anything slide in the beginning of the year, those middle school students will know that you are the kind of teacher that is consistent and fair in how you run your classroom and they will grow to appreciate it as the year continues.  Besides... deep down, every child wants to be challenged and needs to grow, although you will rarely catch a middle school student utter those words.  A lot of students come from homes that are lacking in structure, clear expectations, and consistency, so it may be a struggle in the beginning, but you will see the rewards by the end of the year.

The expectations you set as a teacher will greatly influence the success of your students in both your classroom and in their lives.  So why not expect more and raise the bar higher?  Spend some time thinking about some procedures that will occur most often in your classroom (entering the classroom, working in groups or with partners, turning in homework, turning in classwork, turning in tests/quizzes, turning in late work, conducting lab investigations, eating/drinking in class, supplies that are available to students, etc...)  Think of everything you possibly can and make sure you have a plan for each procedure.  These expectations and procedures need to be in place before school starts because they begin on day 1.

Suggested Day 1:

• Greet your students at the door.  Introduce yourself, make sure they are in the right place, and give them an assigned seat.  (For some seating tips and free seat labels, check out this FREEBIE.)  During the first week or so of school I seat my students alphabetically.  It helps me learn names more quickly and makes passing out/collecting all of the paperwork easier.  If I notice any "bad combinations," I can make an easy move, but for the most part I like to keep everything alphabetical.  I think this seating method also sets the tone that the expectation is that you, the teacher, will regulate everything in YOUR classroom.  I have found that if I give middle school students the power, even on something so small, so early in the year, they end up running with it... and eventually thinking they have more control than they actually do.
• Have something for your students to get started on while you continue to greet students at the door.  This could be some basic paperwork (Get to Know You, Facebook profile, Interest Questionnaire, etc...)  or some sort of quick challenge activity like THIS or THIS.  The biggest thing is you don't want a lot of down time.  Down time with middle school students = chaos in the classroom = stress on the teacher = no bueno.
• Introduce yourself to the entire class and tell them a little about your life.  Show pictures, tell a quick story (they LOVE to hear stories about your family, children, and life in general).
• On the first day, briefly let them know about your class, but don't make it the main focal point.  That will come in the next few days.  For now, just go over the big picture (how they will be graded, supplies needed, some basic policies, etc..)  Don't spend more than 5 minutes on it, if you can.  Send home a parent letter or other form of communication that will introduce you to the family and go over your basic classroom guide, like THIS brochure I have my students take home, get signed, return, and glue into their Interactive Notebook.  
• NOTE:  Later in the first week (day 2 or 3) I send home a Parent Letter.  But to help mine stand out from the other 4-6 parent letters that have gone home in every other class, I created a tri-fold brochure.  Check it out HERE.
• Lastly, end with some sort of Get To Know You Whole Class Activity or Team Building Exercise.  I like to do a Back-to-School BINGO activity because it is a chance for students to mingle, get to know each other and myself at the same time.  It isn't too serious and I actually go out of my way to make it fun and goofy.

Suggested Day 2:

• Continue to greet your students at the door on a daily basis.  This is a great time to kindly remind them of your expectations when they enter your room.  I like to use this a time to remind my students to read the Daily Agenda Board, start a warm-up, cut out a foldable, turn in their homework, etc... (depending on the day and what I have scheduled).  Bottom line, always have something for them to start doing upon entering your room.  They need to know that the expectation is that they enter your room and begin to work; not come in, hang out and socialize.  Time is precious and every minute needs to count.  And because these are middle schoolers, you may find yourself "reminding" them (kindly and not so kindly) of your expectations up until December, but you will be the teacher relaxing at the end of the year because your students respect you and know the expectation, while your neighboring teacher may be pulling out his/her hair at the end of the year because their students are out of control by that point.    
• Now, it's time to start getting into the "meat" of it.  How should you start presenting these expectations and procedures to your students?  Over the years I have tried several methods, but my favorite has been the classroom scavenger hunt.  I found it to be most effective because it allows students to walk around the room, finding task cards and checking out the classroom in general.  They work with a partner, so there is a chance to discuss or have some assistance if needed.  And the best part, you ask?  The teacher doesn't do all of the talking!  For several years in a row, I had NO voice by the end of the 3rd or 4th day of school.  I was talking WAY too much and I needed to make a big change.  To check out my Expectations and Procedures Scavenger Hunt, click HERE or to read my blog post about it, click HERE.  

I can't wait to continue sharing ideas on setting high expectations in your classroom.  Just remember:  This is YOUR classroom and your students need to leave you at the end of the year knowing more content, being more confident, and appreciating the growth and successes that they have achieved because of you and your consistently high standards.  No one said teaching was easy...especially in the middle grades!